...are average speed checks. Now, they work, but they fuck me off. Big time. You just sit there, for mile after mile, no bleeding workforce to protect, and if they are there, they're having their tea - probably laced with vodka. So they'd do bugger all anyway, which makes me want to mow them down.
Anyway, day 1B in Luton. APAT European Amateur Championship for £75. 151 runners out of the total of 299 or 300. God knows which. 10,000 chips, 40 minute blinds. It's a tasty structure. I have good memories of APAT, the normal weak-tight play, plus I dropped 80% of my starting stack in Cardiff, only to run it up to almost 50k a few hours later. There's time to come back if you're struggling.
I make my first big mistake on the first hand. I win it. Or rather, I share it. On the BB with T3o it's checked to the river and share with the SB who was holding KT on a J7498 board. Up to 10,025 and an early chiplead on the table.
I'm then continually dealt the kind of hands that do their best to bust you. Most people who play with me know I hate AJ, with a passion, closely followed by JJ and AQ. Very next hand I pick up AQ suited and proceed to play it atrociously. UTG limps, I decide I don't fancy raising out of position against him this early on, so I just complete the big blind. The flop comes AJT and I bet out flop, turn comes 9. I bet 300 into the 500 pot, get raised to 1,000. Now, a blind man on the moon can see I'm behind, but I stack 1,700 calling this and 1,000 on a blank river. Of course he has the nuts, KQ. AJo on the button, I raise, get called, flop down KQ rag and I fold to the BB's lead. 76s next hand, raise and take the blinds. 4 hands in, and already down to 8,000. But at least I'm creating an image that might work to my benefit later on.
Yeah, right. I'd need to hit the odd hand. I miss with 88, 33, 22, 99 and JJ (x2) when I get in cheaply. I pick up AJ (x3), AQ (x4) and AK (x3) in the first 4 hours, playing them all differently. The ONLY one I win is when EP (dodgy player, didn't rate him) raises, I call on the button with AJs. Flop comes down A77. He bets 300 into 500, I dwell for over a minute before reraising to 1,100. He remarks 'nice bet' and lays down what I assume to be QQ or KK. At least I got that one right.
And it was pretty much the only marginal play I got correct all tournament. I win with AK, raising pre-flop and betting a 9 high flop when I miss yet again, and I make the first break with 6,700. After playing the 2nd hour rather tight I decide to come back and take the bull by the horns. First hand I raise 3 limpers from the button with J4s, two call, the board comes 456 and a bet from me takes the pot. The very next hand I reraise an EP raiser with AK, then move all-in on a 942 rainbow board. He passes and I'm up to 9,000 despite not hitting anything. Raises are generally being respected, and when I hit my most promising flop yet I'm quite hopeful. With blinds 100/200, I'm the 3rd limper on the button with Tc9c. The flop comes Jc9d7c. The BB bets out 400 into 800 and is called by the HJ (hijack, one to right of CO). I reraise to 1,900...and get called by both. Turn J is checked and River checked to me, I bet out 2,400 when I completely miss again but am called by the HJ, who shows QJo. I take a couple of small pots over the next half hour, but lose another 1,500 when I raise for the first time blind on blind with Q5s. I lead the A high flop and turn, but lay down to a reraise on the turn. I've gone and run into AQ. This hit shakes me, and I'm quite relieved when I'm moved tables, though the second one is far less friendly than the first.
I'm immediately put to the test with 5,600 left, first hand I'm dealt QT in MP, folded to me with blinds 200/400 I test the water with a raise to 1,200. I get instantly reraised by the small blind, and pretend I folded AQ. He shows AK. Not a good start and it only gets worse. With just over 4k left after putting in the big blind, the short stack moves all-in from MP for about 2,600. It's folded around to me as I announce 'An easy fold or a very easy call please', as I look down at A....J offsuit. I curse, though the rest of the table find it hilarious. I've been there for 3 minutes, I have no idea what his range is, if he's really waiting for a good hand. If I'm beat I'm crushed, and if I'm winning, it's probably not by much. I think for about 2 minutes, and then make probably the wrong decision and fold face up, apparently he had K8 suited. I'm low on confidence after the total coldness of the deck so far, and it was manifesting itself in my poor decision making. I was playing terribly. I limp to the dinner break with 3,500 left.
Blinds are 300/600 as we return, with 118 left. First hand in MP I look down a 7s8s, and as I'm about to announce all-in the big stacked guy on my left announces 'call'. It doesn't really affect my decision as he can't be that strong if he was only going to call, maybe he'd fold any connector or Ace than has me dominated. I move all-in anyway, he calls and all others fold, he shows AJo. Flop Ac6s2d hurts, the Ts on the turn gives me 12 outs but the 8 on the river sends me to the rail in 118th.
I've hit top pair twice all night, and one of those I'm against the nuts. I've missed every draw. A freezing cold deck.
The most annoying thing in the world?
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